The Purpose of Goofing Off

Q: Just to keep my mom off my back,
What is the cosmic purpose of goofing off?
-Toby

A: Toby, you can tell your mother that the purpose of goofing off is to bring about world peace. If you goof off instead of studying or working, you will eventually come to spend more than 75 percent of your life watching Infommercials and Jerry Springer (These may or may not be actual stats; I'm a "doctor" not a "statistician"). Soon, your brain will become jelly, you'll lose all motivation and your primary goals in life will be to yell at Cheating Husbands you see on TV and eat fried cheese puffs. You won't have any energy or brain power to raise a ruckus or hang out with hooligans, or start a hedge fund. Keep at it, young fella. You've got a bright future.
-DR. Sadie