Q: Sadie, I have a problem with keeping friends around. See, I need them to admire me. The fodder for my wit. Sadly, they do not enjoy my company. How can I do a better job of pretending to like them and making them feel fascinating and wonderful so they'll stick around and be my audience?
-Loney genius
A: LG, I get this question a lot. My answer always is, in a word: costumes. You've got to dress up more, like a clown, or an animal, or a blender. Use your imagination. This will both amuse your "friends" and distract them from the fact that you annoy them. See, life's simple if you just stop to think about it.
-DR. Sadie
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