money grubber?

Q: Dear Dr. Sadie, My wife and I have been married for almost fifteen years. Ever since the wedding, she's stopped having sex with me. I'm starting to think that maybe she was just using sex in order to get me to marry her so she could have access to my millions. What do you think?
-CJ - Boring, OR

A: CJ - these sorts of questions always make me blush. I don't like to use the "s" word and I'm only slightly less comfortable with the "m" word (you know, the thing that two people do when they get committed for life in the presence of their friends and family, and then have lots of appetizers). That said, if you've made it 15 years without "s" then probably you are pretty comfortable with the other "m" word, the "s-l" concept and "d," "o-e" and "w" a lot of jeapardy. Does that make sense?
-DR. Sadie

very naughty

Q: My Wife is a Nurse, every time we make love she insists on wearing rubber gloves. Should I bath more?
-signed, is Once a Week Not Enough

A: The best way to have intimacy is for both people to wear numerous layers of clothes, cover their exposed parts in anti-bacterial sanitizer and sit at opposite ends of the couch and have stilted conversation. This is how we lear1ned it in my day, and that's should be good enough for you. Twice a year at least!
-DR. Sadie