Whining kids!

Q: Dear Dr. Sadie, how can I get my kids to whine less when cleaning their room?
-Nick P, Centerville, UT

A: Nick, I'm glad you asked this question. It is one of the world's five most pressing questions (along with such others like: Is There a God (and if so, why did she bother creating men with lots of body hair), and How can I get my Spouse to Rub my Feet?).
When me and my siblings didn't clean our rooms, or whined, I'll tell you what my mother did. She made us wear a sign around our necks that said: "Typhoid Host." That sort of thing used to carry a lot of weight. I think maybe would not go over in these politically correct times. Probably better would be to remind your kids that people in many countries don't have bedrooms to clean up and that if they don't quit whining, you'll send them to one of those countries, or to my house, where I'll make them clean the garage wearing the Typhoid sign
-DR. Sadie