Dealing with Deceit

Q:
Recently I've had two people who I thought were my friends lie to me drastically, what do I do about it????????
-Dumped and Confused

A: D&C, first, I'd advise using fewer question marks. But that's not really the main point. Lying is evil, awful, mean, and never called for. Except in this case. The best thing to do is get even by telling your two friends that you have come into a bunch of money. Make it really convincing. Tell them you appreciate their friendship and want to share your riches with them. Then never, ever return their calls or emails. It's shameful. But potentially very funny. Let me know how it turns out.
-DR. Sadie