Hotter than Sadie?

Q: Sadie, can you tell me why the Orange County (Calif.) Register insists on running Rudy Park when they could run Candorville, a much better strip also penned by Darrin Bell? No offense, but the chick in Candorville is much hotter than you. Happy New Year.
-David

A: David, you wouldn't know a hot woman if she came up and slapped you in the forehead with a frying pan. Which is what any woman worth her salt should do the moment she sees you while also carrying a pan. As to Darrin Bell, I hear that guy eats bugs -- COMMUNIST bugs. He's a whiner, and he's not funny, and he draws like that commie Karl Marx. If you like Candorville, you probably like to listen to the soundtracks from Broadway Musicals and get weepy. Let me know when you're ready for a real woman -- and I'll slap you in the head myself.
-DR. Sadie

Hot Jobs in 2008

Q: Dear Dr.Sadie, I recently lost my job and I was wondering if you have any tips on hot job trends for 2008?
-Cris

A: Cris, this is an appropriate question. We are spiralling into a recession, and many of my listeners could find themselves jobless. What should you do? There is a job opening, and, if you're one of my followers, you're qualified: you should run for president. You won't win. You'll be crushed by John McCain (a hunk of a man and the bravest soul ever to wear pants). But just running should get you through until November. And, if for some reason the stud McCain should drop out of the race to marry me, and you wind up as President, please send Rudy to Guantanamo Bay.
-DR. Sadie